KV's Doggy World ~ Poems and More

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Poems and More

On this page you will find various doggy stories
and poems: some humorous, some sad... Read on and enjoy!

If you don't want to be greeted with paws and swinging tails,
Don't come inside because dogs live here.

If you don't like the feel of a cold nose or wet tongue,
Don't come inside because dogs live here.

If you don't want to step over many scattered toys,
Don't come inside because dogs live here.

If you think that a home ought to smell of perfume,
Don't come inside because dogs live here.

But if you don't mind all of this, you will be instantly loved when you come inside because dogs live here!

Author Unknown

Am I Famous Now

    I was born today. One of 10. My daddy was very famous. I have lots of half brothers and sisters. My mother is very famous. Since she got famous, she has only had puppies. No more loving hands, no more fun trips...just puppies. She is always sad when they leave her.
    I left home today. I didn't want to go, so I hid behind my mama and three litter mates that were left. I didn't like you. But one day they said I would be famous. I wonder, is famous the same as fun and good times? So you picked me up and carried me away, even though you were concerned about me hiding from you. I don't think you liked me.
    My new home is far away. I am scared and afraid. My heart says "be brave." My ancestors were. Did they go to good homes like mine? I am hungry because I can't eat too much because it will be bad for my bones. I can't bite or snap when the children are mean to me. I just run, play, and pretend I am in a big green field with butterflies, robins, and frogs.
    I can't understand why they kick me. I am quiet, but the man hits and says loud things. The lady doesn't feed me good things like I had with my mother. She just throws dry food on the ground then goes away before I can get too close for touching and petting. Sometimes my food smells bad but I eat it anyway.
    Today I had 10 puppies. They are wonderful and warm. Am I famous now? I wish I could play with them but they are so tiny. I am so young and playful that it is hard to lay in this hole under the house nursing my puppies. They are crying now. I am so hungry. I wish someone would throw me some food. I am also very thirsty. I now have eight. They got cold during the night and I couldn't make them warm again. They are gone. We are all very weak. Maybe if I take them out on the porch we can get some food.
    Today they took us away. It was too much trouble to feed us and someone came to take us away. Someone grabbed my puppies. They were crying and whimpering. So we were put in a truck with boxes in it.
    Are my babies famous now? I hope so, because I miss them. They are gone. The place smells like urine, fear, and sickness. Why was I here? I was beautiful, like my ancestors. Now I am hungry, dirty, in pain, and unwanted. Maybe the worst is unwanted. No one came, though I tried to be good.
    Today someone came. They put a rope on my neck and led me to a room that was very clean and had a shiny table. They put me on the table. Someone held me and hugged me. It felt so good! Then I felt tired and looked over to the last one who cared as I laid down. I am famous now. Today someone cared.

Author Unknown

Your Dog

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him, If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics, Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog!

Author Unknown

How Could You?

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.
You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple
of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was
you'd shake your finger at me and ask How could you? -- but then you'd
relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little
longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on
that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and
listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that
life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in
the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because
ice cream is bad for dogs you said), and I took long naps in the sun
waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more
time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you
through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad
decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell
in love. She, now your wife, is not a dog person -- still I welcomed her
into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her.
I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was
fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too.
Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my
time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to
love them, but I became a prisoner of love. As they began to grow, I became their friend.
They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked
fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.
I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was
now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need
be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret
dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you
produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.
These past few years, you just answered yes and changed the subject. I
had gone from being your dog to just a dog, and you resented every
expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in
another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does
not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your family, but
there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the
car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and
cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said I
know you will find a good home for her. They shrugged and gave you a
pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with papers.
You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed
No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog! And I worried for him, and
what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about
love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a
good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take
my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your
upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good
home. They shook their heads and asked How could you? They are as
attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They
feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever
anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you
had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it
would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I
realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy
puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I
padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet
room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to
worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there
was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As
is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears
weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every
mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran
down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you
so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein.
As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay
down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured How could you?
Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said I'm so sorry. She
hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to
a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or
have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different
from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to
convey to her with a thump of my tail that my How could you? was not
directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I
will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life
continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author:

If How Could You? brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did
to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the
millions of formerly owned pets who die each year in American Canadian
animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a
noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the
copyright notice. Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in
newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the
public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one
for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding
another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any
local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice,
and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing,
and encourage all spay neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted
animals. -Jim Willis

You Know You Are a Dog Person If:

Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your dogs are welcome to sleep on any piece they choose
It takes an entirely separate garbage can to handle the poop
All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the checkbook
You and your family haven't had your annual check up in two years, but the dogs are all medically up to date
You start barking at your children to "Sit! Stay!"
You're more concerned with the dogs' needs than your own when the budget gets tight
At least three of your five weeks vacation are scheduled around grooming, vaccinations and dental cleaning...all for the dogs!
Dog crates double as chairs and/or tables in your family room
You can only remember people by associating them with their dog
Overnight guests (who share your bed) are offended by having to sleep with you and the dog(s)
You snuggle closer to the dog than the person with whom you are sleeping
You decide to downsize from a huge house in the city to an average country cottage with lots of land in order to build the kennel of your dreams
You spend more time looking through mail order catalogues for dog supplies than for Victoria's Secret nighties or Miles Kimball gadgets
All your social activities revolve around other dog people Your voice is recognized by your vet's receptionist
Everyone at the office is eager to know if the dogs are all right because you were late for the meeting
The whereabouts of all your important legal and personal documents escapes you, yet you know precisely where to locate the file that includes all the vet records, breed papers and registration
Your trunk has an emergency food kit for any strays you might come across
The majority of your charitable contributions go to animal organizations
To win a precious $.75 show ribbon, you think nothing to forking out hundreds of dollars to board/pet sit the other dogs, pay for entry fees, gas, accommodations and meals
You no longer have to buy extra large garbage bags, because the empty, 40 pound dog food bags work just as well
Complete strangers call you on the phone to ask questions because they heard you were a" dog person"
Your mom calls and asks how the grand-dogs are
Every gift you ever get has something to do with dogs
Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies
You rip up the carpet and lay tile to make clean up so much easier
Your children (wife, husband, etc.) complain that you always take more pictures of the dog than you do of them
While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the dog?"
Any conversation you're having is effortlessly directed back to the topic of dogs
Your first concern when planning a vacation is whether or not the hotel will take pets
You politely bow out of an important social engagement so you can attend a dog show
The number one priority when buying a new house is the size and landscape of the backyard
The only (or at least first) forum you log onto is the animal forum
You describe your children as having temperaments rather than personalities
The cost of boarding your furkids equals that of your entire vacation
Your dog decides he doesn't like someone and you tend to agree
All your non-dog friends know to dress down when visiting your house
Your friends know which chair not to sit in
First time visitors wonder aloud: "Do you smell something?" and you really don't
You become the family dog kennel for all your relatives
You don't think twice about sitting on the floor because both the couch and the chair are completely dog full
Your desk proudly displays your canine family
All dates must pass your dog's inspection
The first question you ask when on a date is: "So, do you like animals?"
You buy a bigger bed that will comfortably sleep six
You break down and buy another pillow so you can have one to sleep on
More than half your grocery money goes to dog food and treats
You buy a mini-van to give them all enough travel room
Your carpeting matches the color of your dog-purposely
The thought of changing a baby's diaper makes you swoon, but you can pick up dog poop barehanded, if necessary, without batting an eye
You send out especially-made holiday cards that feature you and the dogs
Your spouse issues the ultimatum: "It's them or me!" and you have no problem pointing out the suitcase
You readily allow your dogs to give you slobbery kisses, but you don't dare wipe a toddler's nose
Onlookers grimace at the sight of you sharing your sandwich with your four-legged pal, bite for bite
Your dog has the best birthday party over and above any kid in the entire neighborhood
Your dogs eat only the most nutritionally sound food, while your favorite meal is mac'n cheese
You've traced your dog's family tree further than you have your own
You're more familiar with dog laws than you are with people laws
You stagger your dog magazine subscriptions to make sure you'll receive one every week
Your vet's office number is the first one on your speed dial list, his home is number two
One of your vet files is labeled "Other"
Your vet takes a few extra courses just to keep up with your breed's assorted ailments
Your file is the only one that remains in the "IN" box at the vet's office
Your file rivals War And Peace
You can't remember family birthdays and anniversaries, but you can rattle off a six generation pedigree with birthdates, health data and coat colors at the drop of a hat
You have *two* dog doors between the house and the fenced yard, so the doggies can run circles, half inside, half outside
You rush to get home from work in time to get some of what your spouse is fixing for the dogs, since s/he doesn't cook for you
You've just spent $60 on groceries and realize none of it is for yourself
Anyone can look at your (pick all that apply) --- T-shirt - sweatshirt - coffee mug - keychain - beach towel - cooking apron - couch throw - tote bag - computer screen saver/wallpaper/mousepad/wristpad/monitor frame - gift wrapping paper - photographic displays - calendars - refrigerator magnets - weather vane - door mat - bumper stickers - umbrella - Christmas sweater - socks - embroidery project - child's collection of stuffed animals - sheets and bedspread - checks - checkbook covers - throw pillows - Home Pages --- and know immediately that you are a dog lover, AND probably what particular breed you favor
Your bedspread doesn't have to coordinate with the bedroom, as it's always covered with a sheet for the dogs, anyway. Ditto for the couches
The family's eye doctor is located in town, but the dog's ophthalmologist is located a two-hour drive away
Your medications are available at the drug store down the block, but your dog's medication has to be ordered from and shipped by a specialist
It's easier to get a hairdresser's appointment for yourself than it is to get one for your dog
Dog hair in food is just another spice
Your dogs have their own Christmas card and gift list -- and they receive cards and gifts in return
Your dogs have their own Christmas tree -- and it's so full of ornaments that they need a larger one
The part of your will dealing with your dogs is longer than any other part
The guardians of your dogs will receive a larger amount of insurance policy money than will all other members of your family, combined
The instructions to the dog kennel are longer than the instructions to the house sitter
Your personal library is heavy on dog books -- and so is the library for which you order books
Your favorite month is April - National Dog Appreciation Month!
Your dogs have a larger wardrobe of holiday-related bandanas than you do
You hate to go to the grocery store for people food, but when the dog treats are gone, off you go with no hesitation, even at the busiest time
You have three Home Pages -- all of them dealing with your dogs, your friends' dogs, your dogs' friends, etc.
The most exciting times on vacations, no matter where in the world you go, is when you get to pet a dog (a "canine fix")
Most of your vacation pictures are of dogs around the world
The largest display of collectibles in the house is dog stuff -- plates, photos, cards, etc.
Kiss your dog more than 10 times per greeting
Introduce your dog to the photographer and ask would you like to kiss fido also
Cut your vacations to 3 day weekends only
Call long distance and talk with your dog
Order 250 Xmas photos of just the dog, no family in photos
Order 5x7 photos of the kids and order 16 x20 of SPOT
Your Mother's Day (birthday, anniversary, etc.) present is a puppy
The only time you use your camper is for dog shows
The part of the backyard you finish first is the dog run
You spend more time on the computer dealing with "dog stuff" than "other stuff"
Your "Welcome" sign has a dog on it
Your e-mail address is your kennel name
You have a kiddy wading pool in the yard, but no small children
Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week
You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies
The trash can is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside
Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other
Your dog sleeps with you
You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but the dog understands them all
You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't
You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times
You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog is more comfortable

Author Unknown

Cats and Dogs

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 -
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 -
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 -
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 -
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 -
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 -
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Author Unknown

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Last Updated March 8, 2005